Putting people in boxes that is. I hate it. It really drives me up the wall. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately as when I tell people I am still breastfeeding Twink at 2 years old, even though he has a 4 month old baby sister, I can literally see them glancing at the other ‘alternative’ things I do and sticking me in a box. It’s worst at swimming lessons at the moment, probably because they’re new lessons for me and Squishy, so we don’t know anyone. First the question: ‘How long did you feed Twink for?’ I reply with ‘I’m still feeding him.’ And there’s the pause.
Then the comments.
‘Oh wow. Supermum.’ [er...why??? I'm really not...particularly on days like today]
And their eyes flicked from the cloth nappy, to the sling and back up to where I was by now feeding Squishy. Yep. That was the moment they stuck me in a box. You know, the one labelled ‘different from me’.
All my parenting decisions have been for the best for my family. I would never in a million years tell anyone else that my way is the right way. It’s only the right way for me. I would hate anyone to think I judged them in that way. Nobody (or at least no one I know!!!) tries to parent badly – we’re all just trying to do our best.
I didn’t choose to be different just to be different, or because of any ideology. Cloth nappies work out cheaper and I’ve always had more leaks with disposables…so for my family cloth is best…it’s definitely not for environmental reasons (although I do like the environment, obviously…it’s all green and pretty! I’m just no selfless eco-warrior). When I see people getting that look in their eyes, I just want to scream: ‘I drive a fast car. I aspire to luxury holidays in spa hotels (& have loved the ones I’ve had). I love my Jimmy Choos and somehow, I WILL fit into my Dolce & Gabbana jeans again (it may take liposuction!…or the removal of my legs)’. If I’m honest, I am unashamedly consumerist….although admittedly I am sitting here in an outfit by George at Asda and odd socks!
That said, I’m not particularly bothered that people do consider me different. It only bothers me that they don’t seem to want to get to know me further because of those differences.
I guess I won’t be making many friends at the swimming class…
Tags: stereotypes
I stopped going to my swimming class for exactly those reasons, which was perhaps a little silly. I just got sick of not making friends and everyone else chumming off with each other for coffee afterwards.
That’s why we need our BLW commune
We need that commune!
I can sympathise too Allie. Apart from the BLWers, everytime I’ve tried to make friends with groups of Mums, I get left out of their little cliques. And I don’t even know why!